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Arts & Entertainment: Rob Delaney, L.A. Comedian, Wants To Sue Kim K

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  • Arts & Entertainment: Rob Delaney, L.A. Comedian, Wants To Sue Kim K

    ROB DELANEY, L.A. COMEDIAN, WANTS TO SUE KIM KARDASHIAN OVER 'SHAM' WEDDING; KIM, LAWYERS CALL BS
    Simone Wilson

    LA Weekly
    Nov 1 2011

    Kim Kardashian has finally responded, albeit indirectly, to Los
    Angeles comedian Rob Delaney's threat to sue her in a viral column
    for Vice Magazine.

    His grounds? Delaney tells the Weekly that L.A.'s Armenian princess
    defrauded the public, and perhaps E! advertisers as well, by collecting
    millions of dollars for a marriage that was, in the end, nothing more
    than a publicity stunt/cash cow.

    So yeah -- her response. TMZ reports this afternoon that Kardashian
    has told "people very close to her" that her marriage to towering
    NBA star Kris Humphries...

    ... "was '100% real,' adding that they loved each other very much."

    Things only get more heartbreaking from there: "She says when they
    got engaged ... she truly believed the marriage was 'forever.'"

    But Delaney tells us he truly believes, in his "heart of hearts,"
    that the Kardashian-Humphries union -- the closest thing America has
    ever seen to a Royal Wedding, only to devolve into a Royal Divorce
    a mere 72 days later -- was one big setup.

    Here's an excerpt from yesterday's hit column.

    HOW I IMAGINE THEIR "WEDDING" WAS PITCHED: "I know! We'll have
    Kim get married! It'll be a ratings bonanza! We'll bludgeon the
    populace with billboards and commercials, build it up across our 14
    execrable spinoffs, hire some psychologists to help Kim and Kompany
    approximate the appearance of human emotion as they navigate the
    wedding preparation, split the actual wedding over two interminable
    episodes--even accompany them on the honeymoon! And the best part is,
    it doesn't even have to be real! We'll have Kris (Humphries, not Kris
    Jenner, Kim's mom (though having her marry her own mom once ratings
    start to slide IS a great idea!!!)) sign a pre-nup that is also a
    non-disclosure agreement AND a waiver stating that if he even talks in
    his sleep about the "marriage's" details, he'll be beaten, drugged, and
    given a facelift from the same doctor who did Bruce Jenner, and then
    forced to walk the Earth terrifying children and animals for eternity.

    ... It is alleged that Kim Kardshian was paid $18 million to
    participate in her own wedding. I feel like schools could use that
    money. Or health clinics in areas hit hardest by the recession. Or
    Pizza Hut. Or Bernie Madoff. Or my uncle Mitchell, who is a convicted
    sex offender making a living selling Percocet to the elderly in
    Rhode Island."

    And more of Kardashian's response today, via shadowy TMZ sources:
    "Sometimes marriages end ... rapidly. Just because it's short doesn't
    mean it's fake."

    Delaney's still not buying it. In his lawsuit, which has not yet been
    filed, he says he plans to demand that she stay married to Humphries.

    (Or if not, that E! producer Ryan Seacrest, and parent company Comcast,
    at least issue a statement to the public admitting that "Keeping Up
    With the Kardashians" is fiction.)

    "I'm not some weird conservative defender of the concept of marriage,"
    he tells the Weekly. "But if you do get married, give it a shot."

    If you plaster your wedding invite on every billboard and supermarket
    aisle in this godforsaken city, to the point that we unavoidably care
    about your marriage, "then goddammit, you're going to stay married
    until I say you can stop being married," says Delaney. (He also spoke
    at length with the Village Voice, our sister paper.)

    So the lawsuit needs some fleshing out.

    Still, we called a handful of L.A. attorneys -- a contract negotiator,
    a family lawyer and an entertainment litigator -- to see if Delaney's
    great American fight might have the slightest glimmer of hope in the
    courtroom. Because if nothing else, it's damn interesting.

    Brian Murphy, who draws up entertainment contracts for stars in West
    L.A., says that if Kardashian's marriage was somehow proven to be a
    sham, there's a (very, very remote) possibility it could violate a
    "good faith and fair dealing" bit in her contract for the show.

    Assuming there are morals clauses in the contract -- "whether she had
    enough strength to get them out, who knows," says the attorney --
    advertisers might be able to ask for their money back, saying she
    violated their agreement.

    However, Murphy believes that "most of her ads probably like the extra
    attention" anyway. As a mere observer of the show, Delaney is owed
    nothing by Kardashian, he says. (Plus, the indignant Vice columnist is
    alleging Kardashian's producers knew about the sham, too, which would
    make their reality-show contract with the bride kind of a moot point.)

    Mary Catherine Bohen, a family lawyer in Los Angeles, is more
    skeptical still.

    "That's just crazy talk," she says.

    Bohen explains that accusations of fraud can only be made by one
    married party of the other. A third party like Delaney would have
    absolutely no standing to intervene in their relationship.

    "You know what?" says Bohen. "Shame on all of us, for watching it."

    Century City entertainment lawyer Barry Rothman clears up any
    remaining doubt.

    "So he's just a member of the public?" Rothman laughs. "You have to
    have damages. What, he deserves something because he was emotionally
    harmed? Because he cried at the wedding when he should have been
    laughing?"

    Yep -- Delaney's case does kind of come down to that. Seems simple
    as this: A well-meaning guy, pissed he got emotionally invested in
    trivial Valley-girl drama and worried about what that might mean for
    his kids -- and hell, for the rest of America -- decided it was time
    he held a mandatory tween idol responsible for her intolerableness.

    And dust up some publicity for his own gig, to boot.

    In order for him to win, though, he'll have to prove Kardashian
    didn't love nor wish to marry Humphries in the months leading up to
    their wedding. "It's very difficult for third parties to assess the
    emotional dynamic between two people," says Rothman. And even if you
    do prove "it's a sham and not effective, that doesn't make it not
    solemnized. It's still a marriage."

    But Delaney maintains that his accusations will stick -- even if
    he doesn't wind up being the plaintiff opposite Kardashian. He says
    "thousands of people on the Internet" have told him they'd get behind
    a suit.

    Personally, he's more interested in the marriage itself.

    "I would like them to stay married," Delaney tells us, quite
    passionately. "[Even] arranged marriages probably have a happiness
    factor. Marriage is so difficult, and so weird, and unnatural in some
    ways that I don't think your odds improve by picking your own spouse."

    (Ha! Join his quarter-million Twitter followers for more where that
    came from.)

    So whadya say, Kim: Time to suck it up and make babies with your
    ill-chosen teddy bear of a B-ball neanderthal? If not for your
    own pleasures, at least for the mental stability of the unwilling
    Kardashian observer that you (and goddamn Ryan Seacrest) have made
    of us all.

    http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2011/11/rob_delaney_sues_kim_kardashian_wedding.php

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