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Queen's Speech: ID election cards must be used to topple Blair's age

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  • Queen's Speech: ID election cards must be used to topple Blair's age

    Queen's Speech: ID election cards must be used to topple Blair's agenda
    Written by Noddy Bigears

    The Spoof (satire), UK
    May 17 2005

    Many Britains Fear That They Will Lose Their Identity

    The Queen's speech today has damned the Blair Government for taking
    the British people into the dark ages with corruption, disease in
    hospitals and taxation levels that take away peoples identities and
    leave them homeless. She announced today at the opening of the Houses
    of Parliament that ID election cards will be introduced immediately
    to avoid any further electoral fraud at which point she dissolved
    parliament until a fair election can be arranged.

    In the most disturbing case so far of a dramatic increase of so many
    homeless people without identity, a man has been found wandering
    in and out of the Thames in his clothes. The Inland Revenue have
    claimed the man, accusing him of losing his identity to avoid the new
    Blair-Brown-People-Buster tax regime. The poor man is being currently
    held until the Inland Revenue experts can identify any personnel
    assets or valuables to seize.

    Millions of people have lost their identities in Britain due to the
    catastrophic electoral postal fraud used by the Labourites to cling to
    power and political domination. Another disturbing case involved now
    homeless Mark Thatcher, as he complained from his bus stop shelter in
    South Africa "I came home from work, parked the car in the drive but
    my house key would not fit and when the front door did open, my house
    turned out to be full of Armenians who promptly called the police and
    had me arrested for stealing my own car." However, Thames Valley police
    denied his claim insisting, "The man known as Mark Thatcher can neither
    prove his identity nor his ownership of the assets that he has claimed
    and therefore, it was straight onto the first plane out of Heathrow."

    The Blair Government has consistently denied claims that over 22
    million Armenians had been sneaked into the UK prior to the last
    general election or that any immigrants would have had a postal vote.

    In fact, a government electoral officer explained, "Of course they
    would not have had a single postal vote; they would be entitled to
    two postal votes, one for their UK address and another one for their
    Armenian home address."

    Other individual tragedies included pensioner Michael Howard who
    had put down a huge deposit on his new 'off plan' house in Downing
    Street, only to find that on removal day when he arrived all excited
    with expectation, the property was occupied with Iraqi squatters. He
    too, was removed by the Thames Valley police but for deportation to
    Uzbekistan as the currently lowest cost asylum destination. Once
    again, the Thames valley police spokesman confirmed "The man who
    claimed to be Michael Howard had no identity, are you thinking what
    I am thinking? So of course we had to send him back somewhere."

    CEO, Jack Straw from the British Airports Authority confirmed record
    numbers of departures in the last year but confirmed "No passenger is
    allowed to board a plane travelling to the UK without a valid Labour
    Party identity card, otherwise they would have nothing to vote for
    when they got here."

    http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i8295

    From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress
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