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Father's compassion leaves lasting impression

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  • Father's compassion leaves lasting impression

    Buffalo News (New York)
    June 17, 2005 Friday
    FINAL EDITION

    FATHER'S COMPASSION LEAVES LASTING IMPRESSION

    By Bedros "Pete" Odian


    Role models come in many forms: sports figures, political leaders,
    war heroes, policemen and firefighters, to name just a few. My
    father, Paul, was not any of these. He grew up helping his family in
    rural Armenia. He came to America as a young man in 1906 for a better
    life, and worked in a factory in Providence, R.I., where I was born
    in 1921.

    Dad never attended school. He was semi-literate both in his native
    tongue and in English. There was nothing sophisticated about him. He
    seldom gave me instructions. Guidance and discipline were my mother's
    domain.

    Our family moved in 1922 to Manhattan, where my father operated a
    one-man grocery store in a working-class neighborhood. When the
    Depression came along, it became necessary to extend credit to the
    customers whose families he came to know intimately.

    >From time to time, someone would come in and beg for money. Dad
    usually refused, suspecting that the individual accumulated nickels
    and dimes to purchase liquor. Prohibition was still in effect.

    One day, a fellow came in and asked for money. When my father
    refused, the man said he needed the money to buy something to eat.
    When my father asked him if he was hungry, he replied, "Yes."

    The man was taken to the rear room of the store and seated at the
    table. Dad brought in food and beverage fit for a king.

    I was 10 or 12 at the time. I will always remember the kindness shown
    to that unfortunate soul. As my mind goes back seven decades, I
    realize that here was a lesson by example. I saw compassion.

    The store was located on the West Side, 35th Street, between 9th and
    10th avenues. In the late '30s the New York & New Jersey Port
    Authority began constructing the Lincoln Tunnel across the Hudson
    River between New York and New Jersey. It was necessary to demolish
    the tenements midway between 9th and 10th avenues from 34th Street to
    42nd Street for an approach road to the tunnel.

    It already was difficult to keep the store profitable. Many customers
    failed to pay their bills for groceries. Indeed, my father fell
    behind in his payables to his suppliers. To demolish buildings
    housing the bulk of customers was the last straw. He surrendered the
    store.

    After a time, dad operated a small store on the East Side. He resumed
    buying from an egg merchant from his days on the West Side, Max Blum.
    Blum said to my father, "Paul, we have done business together for
    many years. Some of the bills from the West Side were not paid. Let's
    forget about it and continue our friendly relationship. Times were
    bad for everybody." I witnessed the conversation. There is room for
    heart in business.

    My father retired in the 1950s because of failing health. He visited
    grocer friends in various neighborhoods in Manhattan. During one
    visit, one of my father's customers from the '20s and '30s spotted
    him. They had lost touch for 25 years.

    The man told my father to stay put while he went to his home to get
    something. Upon return, he handed my father $100, saying, "You
    trusted me when times were bad. I lost track of you. I am happy to
    satisfy my debt."

    I am reminded of Etienne de Grellet's poem: ". . . any kindness that
    I can show . . . let me do it now. . . . For I shall not pass this
    way again."

    Bedros "Pete" Odian lives in Amherst
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