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  • Survival of the fittest

    St Petersburg Times, Russia
    June 2 2006

    Survival of the fittest
    By Katherine Shonk

    Special to St. Petersburg Times

    In DBC Pierre's latest novel, newly unconjoined twins in London and a
    young woman fleeing the war-torn Caucasus find themselves similarly
    unversed in the ways of the world.

    A pair of newly unconjoined twins, set loose in London, must decide
    whether to embrace freedom or remain within their safe, familiar
    cocoon.

    A young woman from a war-torn republic in the Caucasus leaves home in
    search of a better future for herself and her family.

    These are the two storylines that DBC Pierre launches in alternating
    and eventually intersecting chapters in his second novel, `Ludmila's
    Broken English.' (His first, `Vernon God Little,' won Britain's
    prestigious Man Booker Prize in 2003.) Though they inhabit very
    different corners of the globe, twin brothers Blair and Gordon
    `Bunny' Heath and Ludmila Derev face a similar challenge - the need
    to adapt to an alien environment - and are similarly ill-equipped to
    face the adventures that will befall them.

    Blair and Bunny, born attached at the trunk, are lifelong wards of
    Britain, sequestered in the Albion House Institution, a
    `centuries-old jumble of menacing architectures crouched deep in the
    northern countryside.' Acting on the theory that Bunny has become
    Blair's parasite, the British health service, `newly privatised' in
    the novel's slightly futuristic setting, arranges for the brothers to
    be surgically extricated from each other at the age of 33. Once they
    have recovered, they are dispatched for four weeks' community leave
    in the bustling capital.

    Meanwhile, in the fictitious post-Soviet backwater of Ublilsk
    Administrative District Forty-One, Ludmila and the rest of her family
    find themselves similarly cut adrift by a formerly paternalistic
    state. Farcically, the Soviet Union abdicated its responsibility for
    the Derevs' well-being to the drunken, incestuous head of the
    household. Just pages into the novel, Ludmila's grandfather attacks
    her, leaving her with a sobering choice. `The equation was suddenly
    this: if Aleksandr sodomised her, he would more quickly be persuaded
    to sign his pension voucher, and bread would appear on the family
    table that night. ... And if she wet the air with lusty squeaks,
    there might even be orange Fanta.' Soon after accidentally killing
    Grandpa by stuffing a glove in his mouth, the young heroine confronts
    another crude Catch-22: Her grandmother advises her to make up for
    the deceased's pension by choosing between prostitution and work in
    the munitions plant. Ludmila lucks out only when the family realizes
    that the sale of their tractor might temporarily stave off the wolves
    at the door.

    So the novel's three protagonists set forth on what might have been a
    collision course, if only it didn't take such a very long time for
    their paths to cross. Blair leaves the institution without looking
    back, eager to plunge into the sex, hedonism and sheer normality he
    has been denied. Asexual Bunny would just as soon cower through the
    month of freedom, eating bacon and sipping gin. Ludmila, after
    killing a second man (the tractor's buyer) for untoward advances, has
    the most ambitious plan. She heads to neighboring Kuzhnisk to meet up
    with boyfriend Misha, a deserting soldier from the local conflict.
    Together they intend to travel overseas and join the ranks of those
    who `wouldn't tolerate the inconvenience of war in the place where
    they lived.'

    `Ludmila's Broken English' begins boldly, perhaps too boldly; played
    for laughs, the passage in which Ludmila kills her lustful
    grandfather is liable to lose a few faint-hearted readers. Subsequent
    chapters, in which Blair and Bunny quibble endlessly over the
    possibilities afforded by their liberation, are more likely to turn
    off even more, due to tedium and, for non-Brits at least, an excess
    of slang and inside jokes. This is a shame because, after this uneven
    start, passages of brilliance lie nestled within the novel's dense,
    darkly comedic middle.

    Most successful is Pierre's cutting portrayal of Ublilsk, a
    civilization in rapid decline. The novelist researched this portion
    of his book by visiting Armenia and frequenting Russian-bride web
    sites, and he fixes a keen eye on the degradation and desperation
    that can exist in forgotten pockets of the world. The description of
    the region's bread delivery echoes the matter-of-fact bleakness of
    Alexander Solzhenitsyn:

    `As keeper of the bread depot, the last registered business of any
    kind in the district, Lubov's power was absolute. The depot was a
    mildewed cockpit from which she piloted the destinies of the
    district's last mollusc-like inhabitants. Every week, a forlorn
    box-car was uncoupled from a train on the main line, and pushed on to
    a disused siding that ran to within four kilometres of Ublilsk. ...
    Oafish young men met the wagon each week, carrying metal bars and
    sharpened chains for security. Rumour had it they now also carried a
    gun. They were Lubov's retarded son and nephew - for the stigma of
    feeble blood twice stained her - and they would heave and pull the
    wagon as far as the track would allow, then unload the bread into
    sacks, and carry it over their backs to the depot. ... The town had
    several simple faces rumoured to be the cost of a dirty loaf.'

    Even more vivid is Ubli, the tongue Pierre gives his characters,
    `said to be the language most exquisitely tailored to the expression
    of disdain.' The Ublis' dialogue is presented as word-for-word
    translation, a technique that at first feels stilted. But once the
    reader acclimates to common Ubli turns of phrase such as `gather your
    cuckoos,' `don't toss gas,' `cut your hatch,' and the ubiquitous
    `Hoh!' it becomes delightfully daffy, as does the natives' constant
    pushing of their chins at anyone who gets the slightest bit on their
    nerves. In Ublilsk, contempt is the local currency; beyond the
    district's borders, its expression is the only source of power.
    `Imagine!' Ludmila scolds a sweet young woman who attempts to
    befriend her in Kuzhnisk. `A new and important visitor and you waste
    the crucial first hour, the golden hour, with squeakings about
    yourself!'

    Ludmila's unwavering crabbiness lends the story some inspired humor;
    unfortunately, it stands in the way of her development as a fully
    rounded character. When a crooked Kuzhnisk biznesmen signs her up on
    an `Internet introduction service,' it's clearly time to start
    worrying, but the girl's tough exterior impenetrably lacquers over
    her underlying pathos and naivete. The story of what happens when
    conjoined twins are separated and cut loose in society should also
    set the stage for compelling drama, but the brothers remain too
    rigidly defined - Blair is the wild one, Bunny the priss - to retain
    much interest. And Pierre's failure to recount the specifics of their
    separation - we are told that they `shared certain organs,' but not
    how they are divided up on the operating table, or how the twins are
    (or are not) physically altered by the procedure - seems an odd
    oversight for an otherwise scatological writer.

    When the twins do finally meet up with Ludmila (yes, the introduction
    web site plays a role), the results are unsatisfyingly brief. Nearly
    all of the novel's major characters converge in Ublilsk for a
    gruesome finale that seems to want to be chilling, but instead comes
    off feeling flat, even predictable.

    Still, those who like their literature in the grotesque vein of
    William Faulkner and Flannery O'Connor will appreciate Pierre's
    transplantation of the tradition to a very different southern clime.
    The Caucasus is unexplored territory in contemporary English-language
    fiction, and in many sections of `Ludmila's Broken English,' Pierre
    does an admirable job of introducing a new audience to the horror and
    black humor to be found there.


    Katherine Shonk is the author of `The Red Passport,' a collection of
    short stories set in contemporary Russia.
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