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Armenian Reporter - 10/27/2007 - arts and culture section

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  • Armenian Reporter - 10/27/2007 - arts and culture section

    ARMENIAN REPORTER
    PO Box 129
    Paramus, New Jersey 07652
    Tel: 1-201-226-1995
    Fax: 1-201-226-1660
    Web: http://www.reporter.am
    Email: [email protected]

    October 27, 2007 -- From the Arts & Culture section

    To see the printed version of the newspaper, complete with photographs
    and additional content, visit www.reporter.am and download the pdf
    files. It's free.

    1. Folk: Mariam Matossian and the songs that inspire her (by Naush Boghossian)

    2. Theater: Vahe Berberian to direct Baron Garbis (by Alene Tchekmedyian)
    * Berberian's new drama explores the relationships between men of
    three generations

    3. Television: ABC's Extreme Makeover features J.S. Hovnanian (by Alex Janoyan)
    * Late Jirair Hovnanian's firm does it in four days
    * "It's man helping man," for reality television

    4. Reality television and the realities of television (by Shahan Sanossian)
    * A conversation with executive producer Michael Agbabian

    5. Arpa International Film Festival, at age 10, to showcase the best
    of Armenian cinema
    * 115 films to be screened next weekend at the Egyptian Theater

    6. Poetry Matters: Markarian, nature, and what poetry gives (by Lory Bedikian)

    7. Film: Abkarian, Metwally join Oscar winners in Rendition

    8. My Words: Straightforward, intuitive, scientific, and poetic (by
    Patrick Azadian)

    **************************************** ***********************************

    1. Folk: Mariam Matossian and the songs that inspire her

    by Naush Boghossian

    VANCOUVER -- Mariam Matossian -- who will release a second CD of
    Armenian songs on October 27 -- learned from her mother traditional
    Armenian folk songs that had been passed down to her by her own
    mother. Mariam sees her albums as a way to convey the rich history of
    her people to a larger audience.

    Even the process of picking which songs she would include on her
    second album, In the Light, was a family project, involving the
    suggestions of her family -- and pretty much anybody with an opinion.

    But Matossian found that choosing a song for her CD often happened
    spontaneously. Her mother would start to sing an old folk song,
    Matossian would fall in love with the melody, and the historical
    legacy would continue its progress from one generation to the next.

    "I remember one time, I was performing at a festival and my whole
    family was there," Matossian said. "My aunts and mom started singing
    this old folk song. I just loved it and it is on the album."

    Matossian will introduce her audience to the songs of Into the Light
    at a concert in Vancouver on October 27. The event coincides with the
    release of the album, which includes her interpretation of traditional
    Armenian folk songs as well as a handful of original compositions.

    A former high school teacher and counselor in the Vancouver area,
    Matossian released her first CD, Far from Home, in 2004. It celebrated
    traditional Armenian music by incorporating instruments like the oud
    and duduk.

    "I just had this yearning, this sense in my heart that I had to
    preserve our songs in the best way possible," she said in a 2004
    interview about what prompted her to record her first CD.

    The little girl who sang in church choirs, in school choirs, at
    community events and at home with her mom and aunts, grew up to share
    her story through song -- a story of faith, resilience, and hope.

    Now three years after the release of Far from Home, Matossian says
    she's grown as an artist, and the growth is reflected in her new
    album.

    "Touring with the first album gave me this incredible opportunity to
    perform and grow as a vocalist and to work with amazing musicians from
    whom I learned so much," she said. "I was able to experiment on stage
    with improvisation, taking new risks with my voice. This new album
    definitely reflects that growth in my artistry."

    But she also wanted her new album to be more acoustic and "even more
    vulnerable," she said.

    "I wanted to showcase the beauty of each instrument more, so you'll
    hear the violins, the oud; the percussion have moments where they are
    in the spotlight and they just shine," she said.

    Matossian, who has recorded an English song for another artist, said
    her passion still lies in her Armenian music. She doesn't, however,
    rule out recording an English-language album in the future.

    But now, it is her desire to honor her grandparents that fuels her
    passion for singing.

    The story of her grandparents is a deep inspiration to her. They
    persevered through the massacres but never lost their faith in God.
    They met and married years later to live a life filled with hope.

    "There is just something so meaningful, so special about the
    Armenian language to me. I am passionate about the language, I love
    our culture, I love speaking the language, I love singing in
    Armenian," she said.

    "I want to honor my heritage with my albums.... So for now, this is
    my passion -- to sing in my language and share the beauty of our
    culture with others."

    While Matossian would love to record another album, she has her eye
    on pursuing humanitarian projects close to her heart.

    She and her husband share a passion for young people and they would
    like to influence them to live a life with integrity and to realize
    their full potential.

    Matossian recalls meeting an Armenian boy in his late teens after
    one of her concerts. He told her how distraught he was that most of
    his childhood friends were doing drugs and how he was struggling not
    to fall in that lifestyle.

    "I would like to use my love of music, of public speaking and
    teaching to speak to young people and motivate them to positive
    action," she said. "We see young people who are doing some amazing
    things ... and then on the flip side, we see many young people who are
    headed in the wrong direction, even in our Armenian circles, with
    drugs and alcohol and setting lower standards for themselves.

    "We are compelled to challenge and motivate and inspire young people
    in any way we can."

    Also, since she and her husband worked and volunteered in Armenia on
    several occasions before they met, they are aware of the plight of
    orphans, street children, and schools.

    So they would like to work with agencies, missions and organization
    that help young people, families, schools, teachers, and faith-based
    organizations.

    But she will also continue to explore ways to introduce
    non-Armenians to the rich culture, history and traditions of
    Armenians.

    "The chance to share our story with people who have never heard
    about our history is a privilege," Matossian said. "And I would like
    to continue in this work -- to be able to share our story with people
    who are not familiar with Armenian culture."

    connect:
    www.mariammatossian.com.

    ************************************************* **************************

    2. Theater: Vahe Berberian to direct Baron Garbis

    * Berberian's new drama explores the relationships between men of
    three generations

    by Alene Tchekmedyian

    LOS ANGELES -- As he holds his hands toward his face, his expressive
    eyes peeking in between his animated fingers, Vahe Berberian says, "I
    want the audience to feel that they are hiding in Baron Garbis's
    living room."

    On January 17, in the intimate Whitefire Theater on Ventura
    Boulevard, fans will tap into the lives of three male kin of three
    generations to learn about family secrets and explore relationships in
    playwright and director Berberian's new drama, Baron Garbis. In
    Berberian's words, it is "very true to life. It's almost neorealism
    because of the way it's written, performed, and directed."

    Depicting the interactions between a man, Garbis, his overbearing
    son, Gerard, and his rebellious grandson, Khajag, Baron Garbis
    illustrates 21st-century Armenian family members living in Los
    Angeles.

    Chris Bedian, who plays Khajag, says, "I can relate to my character;
    he is basically the Armenian-American of our generation, who can't
    speak fluent Armenian, but wants to. He has a huge curiosity towards
    Garbis and wants to be like him."

    There is comedic relief in the way Khajag speaks Armenian, "He's
    trying, but he doesn't know the words," Bedian explains. Khajag has
    more in common with Garbis, who Bedian says, "has always physically
    taken action to do things, whereas his father is an intellectual.
    That's where the conflicts start."

    The talented cast members, all friends or relatives of Berberian's,
    have created a tight-knit performing community that extends beyond
    dictating lines and playing character roles. "You're not really
    acting," Bedian explains. "It's a real play. You are becoming more
    than just acting."

    Maurice Kouyoumjian, who plays Baron Garbis, and Berberian have an
    artistic history dating decades, back to their days in Lebanon.
    Berberian states, "We became very close and we stuck together for
    forty years." Rehearsal has an informal and relaxed air to it because
    of the familiar participants.

    Berberian admits, "For me it's very exciting because these people
    are my friends and after so many years of a hiatus, this is something
    that's keeping me on my toes." Raising his eyebrows, he adds, "I hope
    that I can still feel the pulse of the people."

    * Bonding over food

    Before each rehearsal, the group prepares with a meal.

    Culture laces the air, as the Armenian language flows freely and the
    scent of garlic fills the kitchen; the theatrical family gathers in
    Berberian's home, also the scene of rehearsal, setting the intimate
    table with authentic Armenian cuisine. Sako Berberian, who plays
    Gerard, charmingly claims, "It's a ritual before Saturday rehearsal.
    We have some sort of meal. It serves to bond the troop." There is a
    certain synergy among the members of the ensemble that creates a
    pleasant working environment.

    Berberian notes that Baron Garbis evolved out of another play he was
    writing for an American theater company. "This character somehow found
    his way into the play and never left. After a while, I decided I
    should write in the language of the character himself. The play wrote
    itself in a way."

    When asked if his art would be hanging in Baron Garbis' living room,
    Berberian laughs, "No, I don't think Baron Garbis has very
    sophisticated taste."

    The entire process, however, was not easy for Berberian. When
    casting actors for his characters, he noticed a lack of young actors
    able to fulfill his expectations, considering the play is written and
    meant to be performed in Armenian. He says with disappointment, "It's
    a sore note; I think that the language is in decline because of our
    condition in the diaspora. It took us so long to find two kids who
    spoke Armenian, read Armenian, and did theater. It was a huge task. So
    many young actors wanted to do the part phonetically."

    * State of the art

    Bedian shares Berberian's concern. "Armenian literacy is going down,"
    he says with concern. "If you can't speak the language, how are you
    going to keep the culture around?"

    Another force working against Berberian's aspirations for Armenian
    theater is a lack of contemporary Armenian plays and theater
    companies. He says, "If you have a good theater company, you would
    have people who will make attempts in writing plays for that theater
    company because they are inspired to produce; or it's the other way
    around. It's a symbiotic relationship, one feeds off the other.
    Unfortunately, we have not been able to create that symbiotic
    relationship."

    Depending on the outcome of this particular project, however,
    Berberian may expand his work in theater. "My art would suffer," he
    laughs, referring to his paintings, "but this community is big enough
    to support a good theater company. I would hope that the company
    itself would sustain different directors and producers instead of
    being dependent on just my work."

    Passion for theater was instilled in Berberian at a young age. After
    acting in a school production at age 14, Berberian realized, he says,
    "everything that I love is in here. There is music. There is the
    written word. There is acting, which I love, and there is composition,
    painting. All the facets I love are in the theater, and on top of
    that, there is the crazy social life."

    A certain attachment grows among people working within the intimacy
    of the performing arts, as Berberian states, "Only a person who knows
    the theater appreciates that closeness, that camaraderie, that comes
    with it." Those involved in the production of Baron Garbis cherish
    their companionship.

    The group will be hosting two gala nights, by invitation only.
    Sponsors, who become "friends" of Baron Garbis, will have the
    opportunity to attend.

    Berberian hopes that the play will trigger certain reactions in his
    audience: "I'm hoping that it will entertain the audience. I don't
    mean make them laugh, but keep them awake, and also make them think
    and feel. As a playwright, I am not there to answer questions, I am
    there to pose questions."

    connect:
    Barongarbis.com
    (818) 981-6725

    * * *

    Dates: January 17, 2008 to March 9, 2008
    Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 6 p.m.
    Location: Whitefire Theater, 13500 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, Calif.
    818-990-2324

    ***************************** **********************************************

    3. Television: ABC's Extreme Makeover features J.S. Hovnanian

    * Late Jirair Hovnanian's firm does it in four days

    * "It's man helping man," for reality television

    by Alex Janoyan

    PENNSAUKEN, N.J. -- The popular ABC-TV show Extreme Makeover: Home
    Edition recently contacted east coast Armenian homebuilders J.S.
    Hovnanian & Sons to build a $350,000 house for Victor Marrero, a
    single father of five -- for free.

    The Marrero family was featured on ABC's 20/20 in an episode
    profiling the life of youth who live in poverty in cities such as
    Camden, N.J. Through strength and perseverance, the family stayed out
    of trouble and worked together to survive. Victor Marrero was
    unemployed due to a serious heart condition and he, along with his
    sons, had been doing everything within their means to come up with
    rent money for their one-bedroom apartment in Camden City, where the
    six of them shared three mattresses.

    Victor takes pride in the fact that none of his children has turned
    to drugs or gang involvement -- although it is a prevalent part of
    their surroundings.

    In early May, the show's producers chose the Marreros. They quietly
    lined up the necessary building permits. They contacted J.S. Hovnanian
    & Sons to build the $350,000 house after reviewing many builders in
    the area. And looking at their recent track record, it's no wonder
    why. J.S. Hovnanian -- founded by the late Jirair Hovnanian -- won
    three J.D. Power and Associates awards in the last four years for
    "Highest in Customer Satisfaction for New-Home Builders" and was
    presented with "Community of the Year" award for their Carriage Homes
    community at Rancocas Pointe, N.J., by the New Jersey Builders
    Association.

    The challenge was to complete construction of a 2,800 square foot
    home in 106 hours. As a company actively involved in giving back to
    the community, J.S. Hovnanian met the challenge head on. "We jumped at
    the chance," spokesperson Garo Hovnanian said.

    The producers of Extreme Makeover informed J.S. Hovnanian that the
    Marrero family was not to be contacted until all the final
    preparations were done. This served as quite a challenge when
    approaching various contractors to ask them for their voluntary
    involvement.

    Once all the planning was done, the Marrero family was contacted and
    told they were awarded a trip to a Disney resort in Spain and upon
    their return would have a brand-new home to come to.

    A job of this size would normally take around four months to
    complete. The principles Stephen and Peter Hovnanian assembled a team
    of 3,000 individuals spanning over 200 companies in order reach their
    goal.

    "This is a wonderful family and the father has made it a priority to
    provide the best morals and ethics to his children in a very
    challenging environment. Because of him, these boys are excelling
    despite their surroundings. He is their inspiration and their role
    model," Stephen Hovnanian said. "Now we need to help them. It's man
    helping man and it's wonderful to see everyone unite for a common
    goal."

    After six days of nonstop construction, not only did they complete
    the home, but they did so ten hours earlier than anticipated. Team
    leader Ty Pennington with his design team oversaw many of the
    operations. Hundreds of volunteers were assigned to 12- to 14-hour
    shifts, but would choose to stay longer to ensure the job was
    completed in time. On average, one full day's work was compacted into
    one hour's time.

    Looking back, Peter Hovnanian stated, "This week truly proved that
    'TEAM' stands for 'Together, Everyone Achieves More.' We accepted the
    challenge because we were confident in our team and our trade
    partners, and they certainly made us proud, pouring their hearts and
    souls into this project. This experience has deeply changed all of our
    lives, not just Victor's and his family's." When considering J.S.
    Hovnanian & Sons have built thousands of homes in their 40 years of
    involvement in South Jersey, it's evident the project was unlike any
    other they have experienced.

    The show will air on Saturday November 11 on ABC.

    connect:
    HovHomesExtreme.blogspot.com

    ***** ************************************************** ********************

    4. Reality television and the realities of television

    * A conversation with executive producer Michael Agbabian

    by Shahan Sanossian

    LOS ANGELES -- Michael Agbabian has been involved in the production of
    many popular nonscripted television programs over the last few years.
    He has worked as a supervising producer on Weakest Link, Test the
    Nation, and Last Comic Standing and as a co-executive producer on Hit
    Me Baby One More Time, Gameshow Marathon, and Project Runway. His most
    recent project, Phenomenon, premiered on NBC on Wednesday, October 24.

    We sit down to talk in Agbabian's home in the San Fernando Valley
    about a week before the premiere. He is hospitable and animated;
    though, it is clear he has been working long hours. He communicates in
    a quick, nonlinear fashion that seems demonstrative of the
    multitasking involved in his work. But what exactly does an executive
    producer do? We've all seen the credits roll down our TV screens, but
    few of us know much about the job.

    "The best way I could describe it is that the executive producer is
    like the CEO of a little company," Agbabian tells me. "Imagine you
    start a company. You hire everybody. You run it. And then at the end,
    you let everybody go. Then in a couple months, you do it again."

    * A creative CEO

    Agbabian and his business partner Dwight Smith have worked as a team
    for over a decade. They recently signed a two-year deal with Granada
    America, part of one of the largest television production companies in
    the world. It is because of the Granada deal that they are
    co-executive producers of Phenomenon.

    "It's like a creative CEO job. You have to always know about the
    money, but you also have to have the creative vision, and you have to
    convey your creative vision to your staff. And you have to [persuade]
    the network that your vision is the way to go. The network is
    ultimately the client, so to speak. You run your show like a CEO runs
    a company." But it's temporary. "When the show's done it all goes
    away." He tries to hire many of the same staff members for each show,
    as long as the individual is right for the project. "That's why when
    they say it's all about connections, when they talk about the
    business, it is. Dwight and I like to bring on the same [staff] over
    and over again. We know that they've performed for us in the past. We
    know how they work; they know how we work."

    Agbabian's typical day begins around 10:00 a.m. and ends around 8:00
    p.m., but often right before a program premieres, he can be found in
    his office until midnight. "You're part salesman, you're part manager,
    part accountant," he says. "You kind of have to do everything. I'm
    literally pulled from one thing to another. I get in. I have phone
    calls. I have meetings to discuss the format of the show, to discuss
    the rundown of that particular episode. I get a briefing from the
    producers of what's going in that episode. I go down to the
    post-production department to look at cuts. We have meetings with the
    production side regarding where we are budgetarily, what we can afford
    what we can't afford.

    "And there's always a million crises." Out of ten contestants on his
    new show, three are currently presenting unforeseen challenges. "One
    is in the hospital; one has severe back problems; one had to fly back
    to Belgium because a close friend died. Crisis management becomes a
    big part of what an EP does."

    * Is it real? Is it not?

    Phenomenon is based on an Israeli show called The Successor, one of
    the most successful television programs ever aired there. Hosted by
    mentalist Uri Geller and illusionist Criss Angel, the show will search
    for the next great mentalist. All of the contestants will perform for
    a live television audience of millions, but one will be awarded the
    title of Phenomenon and awarded a cash prize of $250,000.

    "It's not America Idol for magicians," Agbabian says. "It's dark,
    eerie, mysterious. We're going a little edgy. There are things these
    guys will do that will be somewhat life threatening. You're not going
    to see women chopped in half and white doves appearing out of scarves.
    The show deals with magic of the mind: mind reading, telepathy,
    telekinesis, mind over pain."

    "What's unique about our version of Successor," Agbabian tells me,
    "is that Uri claims that his abilities are not necessarily a trick,
    that he has these natural abilities to do the things he does. Criss is
    the other side. Criss believes that everything is a trick; everything
    is an illusion; nobody has any special psychic powers." The producers
    are highlighting the different views and different styles of the two
    men. "Criss is sort of the rock star magician. He's the Hollywood kid
    who runs around with starlets and goes clubbing. Uri is the gentleman.

    "I don't know what's going to happen when the show airs and what
    these guys are really going to say. We have some [performers] on our
    show who do claim to have some true natural phenomenon that they can't
    explain. And there are others who don't necessarily subscribe to that.
    We're adding an element of 'Is it real? Is it not?' We don't have any
    second takes. We don't have any camera tricks, so what these guys do
    is what these guys do. And we leave America to decide."

    Does Agbabian agree with, Angel or Geller? "I'm a pretty big
    skeptic," he says. "I do think that there is a lot of trickery to a
    lot of what people do; however, I have second guessed a lot of my
    skepticism, particularly with some of our guys. Dealing with them on a
    day-to-day basis, without cameras and without an audience in front of
    them, they do have an uncanny ability to read your mind, to read your
    body language. I think that what they've ended up doing is refining
    stuff that any of us can do. You can become an expert at reading body
    language. You can become an expert in reading the way people talk
    that, ultimately, can make you a mind reader. It's just that they've
    done it to a point of making it artful.

    "It's different than anything we've done," Agbabian says, referring
    to his partnership with Smith. "We're known to do game, variety, and
    talent shows. That's kind of our niche. This is a challenge, I think,
    and I tend to like challenges. This will be a really different show,
    so if we bomb, it's not because we did the same thing and we just
    didn't do it really well. We did something completely different, and
    people didn't gravitate toward it. In some respects, I almost would
    rather it be that, because then people will go, at least it wasn't
    another singing show."

    * A USC man

    Agbabian realized in high school that he was interested in film and
    television. He attended the University of Southern California, where
    he was accepted into the School of Cinematic Arts one of the top
    programs in the nation during his junior year. "SC film school did two
    great things," Agbabian tells me. First, it introduced him to many of
    his peers in the industry with whom he still works. Second, it taught
    him what he was bad at. "They want you to try everything," he says. "I
    learned that I'm terrible at lighting, terrible at sound. I wasn't
    very good at editing, and I wasn't that great of a director, but I
    really liked to put stuff together." When he first went to college, he
    was considering writing and directing. "At SC, I realized that
    producing seems to be the right thing for me."

    Though he found his calling at USC, finding success would be a more
    difficult process. "As soon as you get out, you always have these
    delusions of grandeur. Everybody's going to want to hire me, but
    that's totally not the case." He worked at New Line Cinema for a while
    in the mid-nineties before souring on film. "It takes forever to get
    someone to buy [a film project]. It takes forever to get something
    produced. So television seemed to be a more interesting way to go."

    Although Agbabian didn't end up working in film, his experience at
    New Line was fortuitous. It was there, while they both toiled as
    assistants, that he and Smith met. They began working together on
    speculative projects, mostly game shows and variety shows. "And it so
    happens," Agbabian says, "that was the time television was beginning
    to go toward reality shows and nonscripted programs. So we happened to
    hit."

    * Nonscripted programs

    Still, it took a few tries before the team was able to get a show on
    the air. Photo Finish, their first try a scavenger hunt that took
    place all over the city sold to Dick Clark but was never aired. They
    worked on Celebrity Garage Sale and Get the Hell Out, "which was
    basically a game show where a divorced couple plays games to win their
    stuff," but both also never aired.

    Their break finally arrived with Happy Hour, a variety show hosted
    by Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa. It began airing on USA Network in the
    spring of 1999 and featured the group "now know as Pussycat Dolls,
    then was called the Bombshells."

    "It was a great time," Agbabian tells me. "It was such a fun show to
    put together, and we did some irreverent [things], you know
    celebrities singing songs and playing stupid games." Agbabian and
    Smith later worked as supervising producers on Last Comic Standing, a
    talent show that pits stand-up comedians against each other until one
    comes out victorious. "Last Comic was fun for a while and then wasn't
    that fun." Being a supervising producer is a tough job, according to
    Agbabian, because it is a middle-management position. "You don't have
    the power to make decisions, but you have to oversee so much. You are
    the true go-between for the executive producer and the rest of the
    staff. The staff reports to you in some respects, but ultimately you
    report to the EP. It's a really thankless job. It's like being an
    executive vice president who doesn't get the glory of the CEO. But you
    have to do a lot of the same work."

    Another break for Agbabian and Smith came when they were asked to
    work on the finale and reunion shows for the first season of Project
    Runway. They were contacted by the producers, whom they'd worked with
    on Last Comic, a week before production began and had to complete the
    episodes in a matter of days. But Agbabian and Smith were glad for the
    opportunity; it was their first time executive producing. And the
    structure they set up for the reunion is one that is still used on the
    show and on Top Chef.

    I ask Agbabian if he has any anecdotes to share about the
    production. "Well," he hesitates for a moment. "I don't know. Tim
    [Gunn] is a consummate professional who really is very good at what he
    does considering he's not trained to do this. Heidi [Klum] is kind of
    what you'd expect a supermodel to be. She's very nice. I was surprised
    that the nonprofessional was so together, so to speak, and the
    professional needed a lot of hand holding. But to Heidi's credit,
    Heidi is not a trained host. She has language barriers. English is not
    her first language. I give her props."

    Agbabian is glad to have moved on to his current position. "I love
    being creative. I love having a vision that can be executed, and
    having the resources to do that vision. A lot of what the EP does is
    creating a vision for a show. And you've got to keep that vision
    alive. You define it; you work it out with the network, but ultimately
    you're responsible for delivering that vision. There's nothing more
    satisfying than getting everybody behind your idea and behind your
    vision and making it work."

    * Creative leadership

    Other positions in television often don't provide very much freedom.
    "The writer gets beaten down by so many people above him. The director
    gets beaten down. The EP in television is one of the few positions
    that can honestly say, 'I want to do this,' and it gets done. So I
    think we're like little spoiled children in that respect. 'No! I want
    it blue.' And it becomes blue. 'No! I think it should be more creepy'
    then it becomes more creepy. But ultimately being EP, you have to be a
    political animal. Personalities intersect, if there are any issues
    which, thank God, we don't have on our staff. Dwight and I pride
    ourselves in putting together a really good staff."

    "If were known for anything," Agbabian says, "our reputation is that
    we are executive producers who also are creative, which is not
    necessarily a widespread thing. The other thing we're known for is
    putting together a really good staff. They're not driven to their
    bone. And I think it shows in what we do. I don't like seeing a staff
    working their asses off knowing that they're unhappy. I'd rather see
    them working their asses off knowing that they believe in what they're
    putting together and that they want to make work."

    I ask Agbabian if there's anything about executive producing that he
    does not enjoy. "I don't like the business pressure," he says. "I
    don't like the budget pressure. I don't like the stress of dealing
    with irrational network executives. That's not fun. There's a lot of
    juggling you have to do to keep people happy. In some respects, you
    have the Armenian in you trying to make everyone happy, being
    hospitable. It comes in well in situations like this. It's like, 'No!
    Eat more. No! You need a jacket.' You get some respect in a very hard
    and somewhat cold industry when you actually treat people well. We
    [Armenians] are always trained to make people feel welcome. That's
    kind of how we operate. It's in our blood; it's in the culture."

    * An active Armenian

    There is more to Agbabian's Armenian identity than his hospitality. He
    has been involved in various community groups and charities. He was
    one of the co-founders of the AGBU Young Professionals in Los Angeles
    and has acted as its chair. He has interned for the Armenian Assembly,
    and he has volunteered his time to local Armenian schools, helping to
    produce charity videos. His parents, Elizabeth and Mihran, are very
    involved in the community, and perhaps they have served as role models
    for his own work. "It's no surprise that I got involved in things that
    my parents were involved in."

    Agbabian admits that there are not a lot of Armenians in the
    entertainment industry. "I am an Armenian in a non-Armenian field. I'm
    proud to be where I am as an Armenian. In the nonscripted world
    there's very few."

    "I think more Armenians should get into the entertainment industry.
    [It] is an influential business. There are a lot of Armenian doctors,
    dentists, lawyers. It's not to say that my Armenian-ness is going to
    change what goes on on Phenomenon. It doesn't. But the more Armenians
    in our media, the more there is recognition of our people, and I think
    there's also a sensitivity to our culture. I always make it a point
    that people know I'm Armenian. I always try to put it forward that
    Armenians are creative, that they're hard working; they care about
    what they do. That only helps. And when you're working with people who
    ultimately send out that message to the country and the world ... it's
    important."

    Agbabian believes we should encourage children in Armenian schools
    to consider working in the industry. By "giving them a hint of what
    they can do at a young age, I think we will have a much more diverse
    community sending out our message. I'm grateful for my parents. I was
    never forced into being an engineer like my dad; I was never forced
    into being a doctor or a lawyer. I felt with my generation that they
    were pushed into doing stuff that I don't think they necessarily
    wanted to do. I think it was an overall mentality that you have to do
    this. You have to be a lawyer. You have to be a doctor. And I know
    people my age who aren't happy. I think it's an issue of security. I
    think it's the old-world mentality that you have to get a job that
    pays well that you know will never go away."

    "I know AFFMA (see page C12) is trying, and there are some other
    organizations out there trying to really cultivate that. There are a
    lot of creative Armenians out there, and I think they need to pursue
    what they want to pursue. And you know what? You can make some good
    money in this business."

    Agbabian's advice for anyone interested in a career in film or
    television is "Go for it! I say go for it because kids [should know]
    you may be discouraged from doing this because it's hard. Really hard.
    It takes a lot of effort because you're breaking into one of the
    hardest businesses to break into. There's a lot of resistance, but
    there's a lot of opportunity if you find it. And when you get that
    opportunity, run with it. You may not have it again."

    Agbabian has certainly found his opportunities and run with them.
    But what's next in his career? What's next for reality television?

    "Reality has gone through so many burnouts already." It has cycled
    through typical reality competitions, dating shows, hoax shows and
    relationship shows. "We're now in game shows -- there's a lot more
    game that's going to start coming back. Talent shows are going to be
    burning out."

    "I think nonscripted will go one of two ways; either it'll go to big
    variety shows. Or, we'll head back and cycle around to relationship
    and reality competition shows. I think there was always a clear
    indication of the next wave, and I think we're finally at a point now
    -- what is next? A lot of people have talked about UGC, user generated
    content reality, where viewers are much more involved in contributing
    to the content. I don't know how real that is yet; I don't know if the
    technology is there yet. I don't know whether people want to tune in
    and watch what other people have done when they can do that on the
    Web."

    "I love what I do," Agbabian says. He and Smith are currently
    working on four different programs for four different networks: an
    interactive game show for Fox in which viewers affect the outcome;
    pilots at Lifetime and Discovery Channel; and a show in development at
    SCI FI Channel. All at the same time. "We're busy bees. The thing for
    us is, you have to keep your head in multiple areas. You have to
    compartmentalize, and it's challenging."

    ****************************** *********************************************

    5. Arpa International Film Festival, at age 10, to showcase the best
    of Armenian cinema

    * 115 films to be screened next weekend at the Egyptian Theater

    Editor's note: In celebration of Arpa's upcoming film festival, the
    Armenian Reporter is highlighting the Armenian filmmakers and
    Armenian-themed films to be screened next weekend with their summaries
    and scheduled screenings. In our last issue, we profiled AFFMA (Arpa
    Foundation for Film, Music and Art) and will publish reports about its
    2007 festival in upcoming issues.

    November 2 to November 4, 2007

    Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, Calif.

    * Friday, November 2.

    Opening night screenings, party

    5:45 p.m. The Place of Beginnings. Directed by Michelle Ekizian. 40
    min. An orchestral music video presentation of Franz Werfel's 1934
    novel, The Forty Days of Musa Dagh.

    6:45 p.m. The People's Advocate: The Life & Times of Charles R. Garry.
    Director Hrag Yedalian. 60 min. Documentary about Armenian-American
    Charles R. Garry, one of the most influential criminal defense
    attorneys of the 20th century who became a household name during the
    1960s with his defense of revolutionary political icons like Huey
    Newton and Bobby Seale of the Black Panther Party. Original music: The
    Apex Theory.

    8 p.m. 12 Music Videos from Serj Tankian's New Album, Elect The Dead.
    Followed by Q&A with directors. 60 min. Empty Walls. Director Tony
    Petrossian. The Unthinking Majority. Director Tawd Dorrnfeld. Money.
    Director Ara Soudjian. Feed Us. Director Sevag Vrej. Saving Us.
    Director Kevin Estrada. Sky is Over. Director José Rivera. Baby.
    Director Diran Noubar. Honking Antelope. Director Roger Kupelian. Lie,
    Lie, Lie. Director Martha Colburn. Praise the Lord and Pass The Ammo.
    Director Greg Watermann. Beethoven's C***. Director Adam Egypt
    Mortimer. Elect The Dead. Director Gariné Torossian.

    9 p.m. The War Prayer. Director Michael Goorjian. 10 min. Short film
    based on Mark Twain's story, The War Prayer. During Sunday services in
    present-day America, on the eve of war, a mysterious stranger silently
    ascends to the pulpit. He proceeds to deliver Mark Twain's masterful,
    yet horrifying depiction of warfare in an unrivaled indictment of the
    carnage that men have committed against fellow men since time
    immemorial. Parallel Cut. Director Edgar Metro. 23 min. Short film
    about a seductive hit man, hired to murder the neighbor of a
    well-known mob boss who has tragically run over and killed the boss's
    10-year-old son. Based on the true story of John Gotti.

    9:45 p.m. 2007 Armin T. Wegner Award Recipient, Screamers. Director
    Carla Garapedian. 91 min. Documentary about the Armenian Genocide of
    1915, and Turkey's continued denial, featuring the music and live
    concert footage of the multiplatinum, heavy-metal rock band System Of
    A Down. The Recipe. Director Levon Mardikyan. 8 min. Filmic metaphor
    for the nature of the Turkish state, the cultural identification of
    the Armenians with their Anatolian homeland, and what they have gone
    through in generations past and continue to endure in Turkey today, as
    told through the life of Hrant Dink.

    11:30 p.m. Midnight Fright... Revamped. Director Jeff Rector. Producers
    The Garabedian Brothers. 90 min. After getting bitten by a beautiful
    vampire, a man discovers that being "Undead" isn't all that it's
    cracked up to be. Waste Land. Director Rebekah Chaney.Producer Polly
    Pompian. 21 min. A young woman seeks the help of a psychiatrist in
    dealing with the continued physical attacks of what she knows to be a
    demon.

    * Saturday, November 3.

    Day/evening screenings

    10 a.m. Armenian Documentaries Program 1 -- Poisoning for Profit.
    Director Hayk Kbeyan. 23 min. How mining in Armenia has turned soil
    toxic, causing organ damage, sterility, and genetic mutations.
    Karastan, Land of Stones. Director Celine Gulekjian. 18 min. A
    discovery of the Armenian tuffa stone, resistant to time and adapting
    to changes, as the image of the Armenian people. A Cry From Iran.
    Directors Joseph and Andre Hovsepian. 51 min. "Superintendent Haik
    Hovsepian" was a Christian convert from Islam who fought for freedom
    of religion and become a victim of his belief, paying the ultimate
    price. Lullaby. Director Abdollah Guivian. 23 min. Filmed during the
    annual Armenian pilgrimage to St. Thaddeus in northwest Iran, the
    characters in Lullaby poetically describe their often paradoxical
    experience of being Armenian in Iran today.

    10:15 a.m. Animation program.

    12 p.m. Armenian Documentary Program 2 -- A Glimpse of Paradise.
    Director Yael Katzir. 25 min. Marie Balian, an Armenian ceramic artist
    living in Jerusalem has painted traditional designs on tiles and
    pottery for Christians, Muslims, and Jews for over 40 years. The film
    documents her monumental work, a 1,000-tile mural she donated to
    Jerusalem as a homage for hope and peace. Harutiun Dellalian. Director
    Arthur Bakhtamian. 45 min. Harutiun Dellalian is one of the most
    original composers of contemporary Armenian music. When he applied to
    study at the State Music Conservatory in Yerevan, he was a technician
    in a milling factory. Soon he was acknowledged as a natural composer.
    Tabriz: Images from the Forgotten World. Director Mohammad Ehsani.
    Producers Zaven Khatchaturian, Edwin Avaness. 29 min. Vartan's
    grandfather introduced photography to Tabriz, an ancient city in
    northeastern Iran, in 1900. The fate of the family's photo archive of
    over a thousand photographs, many of historic value, troubles him as
    he battles the indifference of the new generation, both Moslem and
    Christian, toward the history of their own city.

    12:05 p.m. International shorts 1

    1:45 p.m. Genocide Documentary Program -- Voices. Director Apo
    Torosyan. 15 min. Survivors of the Armenian and Greek Genocide discuss
    the mass murders of 1.5 million Armenians and 1 million Greek and
    Assyrian citizens at the hands of Ottoman Turkey -- a crime against
    humanity still not officially recognized by Turkey today. Strunga.
    Director Cadri Abibula. Producer Mihai Stepan-Cazazian. 40 min. After
    the Armenian Genocide, orphans became one of the most important
    humanitarian targets of the Armenian communities and charity
    organizations around the world. The Union of Romanian Armenians
    enrolled in the crusade of receiving more than four hundred Armenian
    children on the territory of Romania.

    2:05 p.m. The Border Crisis: Mexican Program

    3:15 p.m. Rouben Mamoulian: The Golden Age of Broadway & Hollywood.
    Director Patrick Cazals. 60 min. Documentary exploring the density and
    complexity of one of the greatest masters and pioneers of Hollywood
    and Broadway. In never-before-seen footage, Mamoulian's elegant and
    fluid style, his introduction of technical innovations, and his
    profound interest for the "talking cinema" are reviewed. With... About
    God. Director Varoujan Hovakimyan. A 5-min music video by artist Gor.

    3:35 p.m. Indian International Program

    4:30 p.m. Los Angeles Filmmakers 1 including... The Curse of Wally's
    Tears. Produced by Aram Tertzakian. 6 min. Wally pretty much never
    cried over anything until a gypsy's curse forced him to cry over
    everything. Don't Gag Me. Director Jeff Cohen. Writer Carolena Sabah.
    9 min. A dental examining room transforms into a dungeon as a man
    finds himself the victim of the dental dominatrix. Atom Seven-Five.
    Director Raffi Bagdasarian. 15 min. An artist's work becomes the
    symbol of a corrupt corporate regime. Uncut Love. Director Hayk Paul
    Hambartsumyan. 28 min. A student becomes obsessed with a beautiful
    classmate, who drives him to self-mutilation. The Replacement Child.
    Director Justin Lerner. Associate Producer Aram Tertzakian. 25 min. A
    juvenile delinquent re-enters his backwoods hometown and breaks his
    oath of nonviolence to save the life of his best friend.

    5:30 p.m. Arpa Women's Short Films including... A Point of View--A
    Documentary. Director Kate Ryan. 5 min. A film exploring man's best
    friend through drastically different cultures: from pampered pup and
    guard dog to service dog and, yes, even dinner. One Sister. Director
    Michelle Gevoian. 8 min. One sister controlling another sister,
    literally, through science. One sister is able-bodied while the other
    is paralyzed. Their symbiotic bond leads to a physical role-reversal.

    6:45 p.m. Tribute Screening... Mardik: Baghdad to Hollywood. Directors
    Katrib-York-Orsa. Q&A with Mardik Martin. 85 min. A documentary on
    Mardik Martin, one of cinema's most important screenwriters with one
    of the most unlikely journeys in American film history. His tumultuous
    life embodies the strife of attaining the American Dream; from Iraq to
    NYU Film School, from busboy to writing Martin Scorcese's Raging Bull
    ... and beyond.

    7:15 p.m. International shorts 2

    8:30 p.m. Arpa Centerpiece Premiere: The Blue Hour. Director Eric
    Nazarian, with Q&A. 93 min. In a working-class neighborhood by the Los
    Angeles River, four stories examining the everyday lives of a Mexican
    graffiti muralist, an Armenian camera repairman, a Blues guitarist,
    and an elderly pensioner explore the delicate ties between strangers
    who rarely communicate yet share brief moments of connection.

    9:20 p.m. LGBT Program including... Ariana. Directors M. Sandoval, S.
    Balooja. 27 min. A doctor comes to terms with his live-in lover and
    Armenian grandmother. I Feel Like a Woman. Director Spencer Beglarian.
    7 min. A young man shares his pain, shame, humor, and joy in accepting
    both sides of his gender.

    10:30 p.m. Arpa Special Presentation: Big Story in a Small City.
    Director Gor Kirakosian, with Q&A. 90 min. Award-winning comedy about
    a deceased professor who gets mixed up at the morgue with a
    look-alike. Prelude of Silence. Director Gaya Gasparian. 8 min. A
    female inmate of a mental hospital is lied to by a doctor during the
    Perestroika era in Armenia.

    * Sunday, November 4.

    Day/evening screenings

    10 a.m. Prince's Grace -- 1 hr 40min.

    11:45 a.m. Arpa International Documentaries.

    1:25 p.m. Artistry and Mystique in Cinema including... Second Egyptian.
    Director Irina Patkanian. 18 min. A femme fatale meets an Egyptian
    waiter in a restaurant in NYC. She has no job, no home, and no one to
    talk to. He has a job, a room, and nobody to talk to. Stone Touch
    Time. Director Gariné Torossian. 72 min. A documentary essay which
    builds a layered and elusive image of Armenian identity. Starring and
    narrated by Arsinée Khanjian.

    3 p.m. Urban Crisis Shorts.

    5:30 p.m. Los Angeles Filmmakers.

    6 p.m. ARPA International Gala Awards Banquet at the Sheraton
    Universal Hotel -- Honoring Mardik Martin, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Carla
    Garapedian, and Ken Davitian ($150 tax-deductible donation).

    8:45 p.m. AIDS Inc. -- 1hr 53min.

    connect:
    www.AFFMA.org
    (323) 663-1882

    **************************************** ***********************************

    6. Poetry Matters: Markarian, nature, and what poetry gives

    by Lory Bedikian

    When I was young I thought I was the only girl who sat under an
    apricot tree with her grandmother, season to season. I believed that
    no one else had such a sanctuary as I did, sitting under those
    paper-thin blossoms, waiting for the emergence of those amber orbs.
    And when the fruit ripened it was my grandmother who would sit with me
    after picking a few off the branches and would divide the orange flesh
    in half with her fingers showing me it was almost to the stage of
    becoming honey, well past the point of being ready to eat.

    And when decades passed, I also believed I was the only poet who
    understood, recognized and put into words the miracle of nature, its
    simplicities and complexities compacted into a creation held in the
    palm. I remember an attempt to write a poem about wanting to give my
    grandmother something back for those moments in our yard when there
    was nothing else that could equate to the quiet we shared, the taste
    of spring in the tree above our heads.

    After some formal education and many doses of reality and humility,
    I began to realize that a poet, any writer, must read before they
    write, that the world had noticed and written about such things for
    centuries.

    I began to read the poems of (Pulitzer Prize winner) Mary Oliver, a
    contemporary poet who writes of the mysteries of nature, but with
    precision and detail of language, making her poems as astonishing and
    colorful as her topics, whether they be dusty pines, poppies, hawks or
    vultures. Poets have always written about such things, but each poet
    must attempt to bring to the subject their own unique perspective.

    An important discovery for me has been that of the poet Maro
    Markarian. Some of her work delves into the familiar topics of
    justice, love and regret. But her poems also have an awareness and eye
    for the natural world, from blue lakes to red-black buds, from
    mountain peaks to ravines. One of her poems in particular, The Apricot
    Tree in the Snow reminded me of that poem I once attempted to write.

    * The Apricot Tree in the Snow

    Snow is falling in our
    orchard, mixing with
    the white blossoms of
    the apricot trees.
    The sun is glazing
    the snow with light
    while something like a song
    rises crazily in my throat.
    Oh, my dears, I want to give
    you something, something
    filled with this light.
    But what song or poem
    could praise enough
    this tree's white blossoms
    falling with the snow.

    On the level of language, Markarian does something with this poem
    that on a first-read may not be obvious. She places symbols of death
    and life within the same image or moment. Snow mixes with white
    blossoms, so death and life have become one from the onset of the
    poem.

    Then she does the same thing again in the lines that follow, but in
    the reverse order. The sun "is glazing/the snow with light," thus the
    sun, which give the natural world life, attempts to melt the blanket
    of sleep in the orchard.

    Although the world of winter brings quiet, Markarian decides to
    write that "something like a song / rises crazily" in the speaker,
    which changes the tone immediately. So nature has not brought -- as it
    may typically do for other writers -- only death and life or
    meditation and prayers, but instead the need to sing out.

    And instead of writing to one specific "beloved" Markarian chooses
    to have the speaker address "Oh, my dears," which expands the audience
    of the poem and the speakers loved ones, taking it from a private love
    poem to a more communal or universal call. The speaker wants to give
    "something / filled with this light" but knows that no song or poem
    can do so, can "praise enough" such miracles.

    Markarian's return to "this tree's white blossoms / falling with the
    snow" at the end of the poem reminds the reader that not even this
    poem is enough to put into words what the speaker feels when viewing
    the natural landscape.

    It reminds the reader also that while the mind of the speaker goes
    back to the image of blossoms and snow, we too are reminded that we
    will all return to nature someday. But the poem does not sink into
    lament or despair. Instead it tells us that if we cannot articulate
    such praise, then let us not worry of what to give, but what to focus
    on, those blossoms, that blanket of cold, and in my own case, that
    apricot in my grandmother's hand.

    * * *

    The Apricot Tree in the Snow," from The Other Voice: Armenian
    Women's Poetry Through the Ages, translated by Diana Der-Hovanessian,
    AIWA Press, 2005.

    * * *

    Lory Bedikian received her MFA in Poetry from the University of
    Oregon. Her collection of poetry has been selected as a finalist in
    both the Crab Orchard Series in Poetry Open Competition and the Crab
    Orchard Series in Poetry First Book Award Competition.

    ************************************ ***************************************

    7. Film: Abkarian, Metwally join Oscar winners in Rendition

    Actor Simon Abkarian returned to the big screen this weekend, starring
    with Jake Gyllenhaal and Oscar winners Reese Witherspoon, Alan Arkin,
    and Meryl Streep in Gavin Hood's politically charged thriller,
    Rendition.

    In the film, Abkarian portrays Said Abdel Aziz, the interior
    minister of an unnamed North African country, where a terrorist
    explosion claims the life of an American operative.

    The incident prompts the CIA-sanctioned interrogation and torture of
    a U.S. resident of Egyptian birth, played by Omar Metwally. The
    torture is inflicted after the suspected terrorist is transported, in
    a case of "extraordinary rendition," to a country where such extreme
    techniques are employed during interrogations.

    Metwally is familiar to theater audiences for his role as Aram
    Tomassian in the New York premiere of Richard Kalinoski's Beast on the
    Moon, which played Off-Broadway in 2005. The prior year, he had been
    Tony-nominated for his turn as a young Palestinian in Sixteen Wounded.
    (He also played a Palestinian in Steven Spielberg's Munich.)

    The Paris-based Abkarian starred in a French-language production of
    Kalinoski's play (under the title, Une bête sur la lune) in 2001,
    winning the prestigious Prix Molière as best actor for his
    performance.

    American audiences recently saw Abkarian in the latest James Bond
    feature, Casino Royale, with Daniel Craig, and in Sally Potter's
    critically acclaimed Yes (opposite Joan Allen). Among his leading
    credits is the role of painter Arshile Gorky in Atom Egoyan's Ararat.

    With his previous film, Tsotsi, director Hood won the Academy Award
    for best foreign film. Early critical reaction to Rendition, however,
    has been mixed. The New York Times called it a "well-meaning,
    honorable movie," but faulted it for "narrative overcrowding." The Los
    Angeles Times criticized it as somewhat predictable but praised its
    "starry" cast.

    ******************************************* ********************************

    8. My Words: Straightforward, intuitive, scientific, and poetic

    by Patrick Azadian

    After my return from Yerevan, people have been bombarding me with "How
    was it?" questions.

    Often the question is accompanied with a gleeful look and the
    expectation of a positive answer.

    I really don't know how to respond. It was a great experience like no other.

    Sometimes I try to take the Armenianness out of myself and I try to
    be objective. Would I still think the same way about my voyage to
    Armenia if I weren't Armenian? Would I still appreciate the occasional
    dilapidated residential building? Would I appreciate some of the
    eroded landscape?

    Then again, I had the same type of questions even when I was a
    child. As a 9-year-old, I remember being on a road trip with my family
    in Iran, when someone in the car referred to the Persian landscape
    around Tehran as "dry, boring, and ugly."

    Maybe I had a hunch of what the future was to bring. But I actually
    had a sarcastic response as a 9-year-old. I remember saying: "If we
    were traveling in Armenia, you would have probably said: 'Oh look at
    the beautiful barren hills; check out the pretty shrubs; and how about
    those few apricots hanging from those trees!' "

    As an Armenian, it is almost impossible to compare Armenia to other
    established tourist destinations. But, it's okay. The shrubs even look
    nice in Armenia. So I admit it, I am biased.

    In general, I saw even the negatives as positive, unless of course
    the negative adversely affected the living conditions of the young,
    sucked the blood out of the ordinary citizens, or endangered the
    environment of Armenia for the next few hundred years.

    During my two-week stay, I learned a thing or two about survival in Yerevan.

    When it comes to restaurant service, there is a general theme in
    Yerevan that goes against the diaspora mentality. Living as a minority
    in every host nation we've come across, we have this innate culture of
    'apologetism.' As diasporans we think it is the norm to be submissive,
    but that's not necessarily the case for Armenians living on their home
    soil.

    The first few times I went to a restaurant in Yerevan, it wasn't
    uncommon for me to be extra polite. After all I was in Hairenik
    ('Fatherland'). How else could I behave in the land of Vartan
    Mamikonian, Mesrob Mashdots, Karekin Njdeh, and Rouben Pasha?

    My simple request for a few glasses of water sounded quite
    elaborate: "Shat kuh nerek, yeteh arituh unnenak mez mi kani bazhak
    joor berek. Yeteh karelee eh." ('Excuse me, when you get a chance,
    please get us a few glasses of water. If possible.')

    After getting bamboozled looks from waitresses, I eventually learned
    my lesson. I began making my requests short and not-so-sweet. The
    people in the service business were not interested in my over
    elaboration.

    Three days into my trip, I almost felt like a native. If I wanted
    water I'd say: "Joor!" If I wanted the check I'd say "Hasheevuh" with
    a gesture implying "real soon!"

    Don't get me wrong. Working people were not unfriendly, but their
    focus was on more important issues. The same waitress who appreciated
    short orders was attentive enough to notice who was picking up the tab
    and who was the eldest in our party.

    At one restaurant, I was brave enough to ask for the check without
    the approval of an elder. Before agreeing to run my credit card, the
    waitress had the presence of mind to make sure I knew what I was
    doing. She didn't want the most senior member of the party to be
    upset.

    She asked: "Vstah ek? Barekamud chneghvi?" ('Are you sure? I don't
    want your relative to be upset!')

    I checked with "hopar" ("uncle" or "elder") before I paid.

    Don't underestimate the waiters and the waitresses in Yerevan. The
    same observant waitress could also claim to know more about chemistry
    than Democritus of ancient Greece.

    A week into my journey I was having a cold drink with a friend near
    the Hraparak (Republic Square in the city center), when the waitress
    approached us and asked us to relay a message to the German couple
    sitting at the next table. The Germans had asked for "hyut" (juice)
    with no ice, but the waitress had gone against their wishes. Instead
    of replacing their drinks, she asked me to explain to them that when
    water transforms into ice, all the bacteria in it disappear. As I did
    not have my Grand Encyclopedia of Chemistry, handy, I refused to
    deliver the message. But I did ask her to bring our country's Teutonic
    guests some fresh "hyut" with no ice on my tab.

    One should also not lose sight of the waitress or a waiter. Always
    plan the next move in a restaurant.

    The waiters are always on the run. If you've ordered water, you may
    lose them for a while before they are ready to take your appetizer
    order.

    One time, I had to hold the wrist of a veteran waitress until she
    took our table's entire order. I could physically feel she wanted to
    set herself free every time someone blurted out an order. Her
    instincts were to come back later.

    After the waitress takes the order, it's best to communicate with
    her about your next move. A simple "chmoranas mez" ("don't you forget
    us") can work wonders.

    Unlike business situations, being short and abrupt is rude in social
    situations. The simplest question can inspire a poem that Yeghishé
    Charents would be proud of.

    Be prepared for a long answer if you offer a local friend some tea.
    Instead of a short answer, it's not uncommon to hear: "De hima vor
    arajarkum es, yete mi ban bedk er khmeyee, tak ban lav kuh liner. Hima
    vor loorj mtadzoom em ays hartsee masin, deh inchoo cheh, eh ha,
    yerevi teh tey lav guh leenee." ("Now that you've suggested a drink,
    if I were going to drink something, it would be something hot. And now
    that I am seriously thinking about it, why not? Tea would be good.")

    A lesson in history is also not excluded. The friend may continue:
    "Gites hin zhamanaknerun, teyuh parsik derwishneri siradz khmichkn eh
    yeghel..." ("You know, in the old days, tea was the drink of choice for
    Persian derwishes...")

    You could take that as a yes and go into constructing some poetry
    yourself: "Deh hima vor du kardzes tey es uzum, yes takavorakan
    parskakan tey unem kez hamar..." ("Now that it seems you want some tea,
    I have some imperial Persian tea for you...")

    I can't wait to go back.


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